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"For that price, you get several delightfully tiny jars full of protein and fiber powder, a “probiotic anti-microbial,” “herbal anti-microbial” and “strong probiotic,” and doses of insulin regulator, digestive enzymes, and “liver support,” all of which will combine to keep your loose assemblage of sloppy organs and Beef Jerky odds-and-ends from totally collapsing while Paltrow’s powder GOOPs the goop right out of you. And when it’s all over, you’ll be left with a clean, sparkling colon that meets with Gwyneth Paltrow’s approval, so long as you continue to insist on having one. Perhaps next year you may see your way to finally upgrading to a shaft of infinite shimmering light."
